


An Eternity Without You

by petrichor3145



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Be More Chill - Ned Vizinni
Genre: Guilt, M/M, Michael is a gamer, Night Owl Character, Self Confidence Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-01
Updated: 2018-07-01
Packaged: 2019-05-31 14:50:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15121775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/petrichor3145/pseuds/petrichor3145
Summary: Michael has a habit of making late-night calls to his best friend, Jeremy Heere, just to talk about life.One night, Michael unknowingly catches him in a sticky situation, and Jeremy just wishes he could be more honest.





	An Eternity Without You

Jeremy’s breath hitches. The screen of his phone lights up with “ _Call Incoming_.” If Jeremy wants to hide his current _activities_ , he’s gonna need to turn the call away.

... _Buuut_ , the number is Michael’s, and as much as Jeremy doesn’t need to hear Michael’s voice to get off, he _wants_ to, and shouldn’t that count for something?

So, with his free hand, he lurches forward in his bed and presses a clumsy finger on the green call button on his phone. “Hey, buddy!” comes Michael’s voice from the other end, muffled only by Jeremy’s labored breathing and the typical phone fuzz.

“H-hi, Michael.”

“What’cha doin’?” Michael asks in a sing-song tone. _Someone’s_ in a good mood tonight, Jeremy reflects. Michael sometimes gets in these moods late at night where he hardly seems to have time to sleep. 

But he _always_ has time for Jeremy, as he insists.

Jeremy can’t exactly reveal the whole truth, for fear of being labeled certain... negative things by his best friend, so he says, “Oh, you know. Chilling.”

Michael’s giggle from the other line only encourages Jeremy’s left hand to work faster, and an involuntary moan escapes his lips, eager to let Michael know of his predicament. “Jeremy? You all good?” Michael asks, good humor giving way to some concern.

“I’m _fine_ , yeah, great,” Jeremy says, waves of pleasure pulsing through him as he works faster; breathing working to accommodate his trembling body. His blood is _boiling_.

Michael’s voice _does_ things to him, damnit, and it’s sweet and caring but confident and throaty all at the same time. It’s all Jeremy ever wants to hear until the day he dies; Michael’s voice cooing at him until he comes undone; Michael whispering a question in his ear, lips brushing against sensitive skin; Michael speaking of sorrow and triumph in the soft lilt of his words formed from full lips. Jeremy wants _everything_.

But for the moment, a hearty laugh through the crackling phone noise is enough. “Okay, yeah. _Sooo_ , have you heard about the new game coming out?”

Jeremy’s interest is peaked even through the haze of his own lust. “Oh?” he manages to stutter, without it sounding too breathy or too weak. He silently prays for Michael to go off on a winding rant, if only to make the memory of this phone call even more intense.

“Yeah. _CyberGeek Versus the Future_. Sounds cool, right? I hear it’s got a virtual reality option with the right equipment and a PVP mode, so you’d better watch your back, Jer. Y’know, this is the stuff of tomorrow! They might even personalize it to each player’s tastes, like with leaderboards and all that. And it’s already gaining traction with the mainstream gamers, so it’ll probably be part of eSport tournaments pretty soon. _Everyone’s_ been talking about it. You think it’ll be good?”

Jeremy is close now, so much so that he can barely utter a word. God, Michael’s so _hot_ when he talks like that, and so _articulate_. Jeremy’s almost jealous, except that he knows it’s in vain to yearn to be like Michael when he’s right here, gifting Jeremy with his presence even when they’re not face-to-face. Jesus, he’s _kind_ , too.

“I, I d-do,” Jeremy says, strained. He’s almost ready to let himself go, and he’s terrified of the sounds he might make when he does.

Jeremy can feel Michael’s brows furrowing from the other line. “Okay, what’s wrong with you? You sound all... all breathy. You need me to come over, dude?”

Oh no. Now he’s offering to do something so selfless, too? Jeremy’s heart is pounding in his chest, urging him to go through with his climax but wait at the same time so Michael doesn’t find out the extent to which his heart yearns.

“I— _ah_!” Jeremy’s body relaxes as he can’t control the urge anymore. He caresses his sex through his climax, revelling in the vanishing shocks of pleasure once it’s over. He can almost _feel_ Michael’s confusion through the phone, but surely he can just make some excuse. Jeremy knows he’s selfish, using Michael’s voice for his own pleasure, but, really, it _is_ Michael’s fault for calling at stupid-o'clock at night anyway, right?

“Hey. _Hey!_ Jeremy, what’s going on? Are you okay?” Michael is frantic. Cacophonic jolts and bumps indicate Michael’s hands fumbling with his phone, and his voice comes out much louder than it had been before.

Strength dissipated, Jeremy falls face-first onto his bed with a soft thump. Mumbling through a mouth-full of cotton, he reassures Michael. “I’m fine, Mikey.”

A pained noise sounds from the phone. “You only call me that when you’re sad.”

Jeremy almost cries at the innocent worry in his friend’s voice. Michael doesn’t deserve to worry; he’s never hurt Jeremy on purpose in his life. But Jeremy, Jeremy has hurt Michael. What did Jeremy do to deserve him?

“What did I do to deserve you?”

Oh, god. It seems Jeremy has no mind-to-mouth filter when fatigued.

“Jer? Is everything okay with your parents?” asks Michael, all soft and worried and with none of the late-night giddiness of a moment ago.

“Yeah, yeah, it’s just... I want you to know that I—appreciate you,” Jeremy whines, lips on the verge of making a huge mistake and revealing the secret Jeremy’s desperate to hide.

“I know, Jer, I know. You say that so often,” Michael says, voice strained almost to a breaking point.

“Because it’s true.” And it is. “Look, I’m fine, Michael, I just had a tough day,” Jeremy lies.

Jeremy will never stop resenting himself for lying every moment of every day to his best friend. Michael, a geek and a gamer and a scientist and a saint, who would give Jeremy the shirt off his back, and all Jeremy can think about is how much he wants Michael and how much Michael can never, _ever_ know. Because what would Michael think of him then?

He disgusts himself.

“You—you can talk to me, Jer. Anytime. Just remember that.”

Michael’s words send Jeremy to the brink of tears; he just wishes they were true. “I know,” he says, choked, “g’night, Mikey.”

And he hangs up the phone without waiting for a response, the resounding “click” a ringing sound of finality in Jeremy’s darkened bedroom.

And despite the wetness lingering on his cheeks, Jeremy smiles, hitched breath and all.

Because he’s got the greatest friend in the whole world, and he would do anything to keep it that way.

Even if it means stowing these feelings of his away for the rest of eternity.


End file.
